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Does your language work for you?


Let me ask you this - does your language work for you?

Do the words you use and the stories you tell yourself constrict your life or expand it?
 
In school we are only taught the language basics - spelling, grammar and definitions.  No one taught us that our words influence our imaginations and our feelings and emotions.
 
In the short term what we think and say shapes our imagination and our feelings.
 
In the medium term our language heavily influences our personal stories.
 
In the long term our stories shape our realities.
 
I have done a lot of work recently with language and how to make it work FOR me.  I am working to eliminate destructive conflict language and replace it with architect language.  What does that mean exactly?
 
Conflict language - creates a dis-empowered world of misunderstandings, ambiguous goals and erratic behavior.
 
Architect language - creates an empowered world framed with focus, clarity, consistency and decisiveness.
 
So how you change your language from conflict to architect?
 
1.  Replace negations with affirmations - "I don't want to be afraid to voice my opinions" becomes "I DO want to be confident in sharing my thoughts." - affirmations remove the focus from what you 'don't' want and puts it on what you DO want.  
 
2.  Replace Soft Talk with Solid Talk - "I think maybe I should get up early and might do the 6am class this week." becomes "I WILL get up early and I WILL do the 6am class this week." - remove the ambiguity and make it happen.
 
3. Replace projections with reflections - "Tom is making me nervous!" becomes "I am making me nervous and need to take a deep breath".  Projections assign exclusive responsibilities to someone outside of yourself.  Using reflections we acknowledge what we have and are creating for yourself AND our ability to change it.
 
Changing your language takes time and practice and moving from conflict language to architect language is just the beginning. 
 
If you want to learn more check out the course Procabulary by Mark England.