I'm here today to talk about straws. Yes, the little cylindrical plastic tubes we slurp our drinks out of. They have, surprisingly, reached debate status.
For those of you who don't follow local news, here's what's going on in a nutshell: Basically, there's a campaign called Straws Suck—a group of people striving to ban straws in restaurants. Most restaurants in Tofino already stopped putting straws in drinks in 2016 and 2017, and now many Vancouver restaurants have or are considering the same, or at the very least they're considering not serving drinks with a straw unless a customer asks specifically for one. Makes sense and seems to be in line with current trends to protect the environment by producing lest waste etc...
But not everyone is happy about this: There's another group of people up in arms about this! Why? Because one disability or another causes them to require a straw in order to drink. They believe straws are essentially a basic human right... Big ass sigh.
True story: Last week, a women called in to AM980 to speak up for the angry straw proponents. She explained she has some neck issue or other, which makes it hard for her to tilt her head backwards as she drinks, hence her need for a straw. Fair enough. BUT she didn't stop there. She went so far as to suggest a straw is a basic human right, even saying, "We're people too," in reference to straw users. Then she compared herself to someone in a wheelchair who needs a ramp to access a building.
PAAAALEASE! Someone in a wheelchair can't exactly strap a ramp on to the back of their wheelchair. Last time I measured, a plastic straw fits easily into a purse, a wallet, a pocket even... I appreciate a straw in my Cesar or Mohito as much as the next person (I have been known to drink too fast and spill on my clothing, so a straw is often my saving grace), but a human right? We. Have. Lost. Our Minds.
At the end of the radio interview, the interviewer says, "Well, I'm sure this isn't going to be the end of the straw debate."
God help us all if talking about straws takes up any more of our time!
What do you think? Should this actually be taken seriously?
- An amused Eunice.